Top 5 ways to spot a poker forum user

One of the toughest groups to crack in the poker world is the online poker forum. Even Poker Pros with millions of dollars in winnings can be laughed and ridiculed right out of these exclusive clubs, so a “noob” like the rest of us, armed with only a witty screen-name and a complete lack of poker forum etiquette is in a lot of trouble. So with that in mind I have come up with five tidbits of information that will help you navigate an online poker forum.

Answer “Tree-fiddy” whenever a number is needed

If you were to ask a poker forum user how much something costs, or the amount of prize-money they won in a tournament, or any other question that requires the answer to contain a dollar amount, the inevitable answer will be Tree-Fiddy. So when the answer comes to a question as “tree-Fiddy” just realize it’s an inside joke: A horribly over-used inside joke.

Thanks a lot South Park!

Attach the suffix -ment to nearly any word

What started out as a silly way to say a tournament had a soft field - a Donkament-has turned into an all encompassing usage of the suffix -ment on poker forums, with the users not caring about context or even if what they are attaching -ment to makes sense!

Thanks a lot Barry Greenstein!

The use of symbols such as [ x ] or </>

Poker players are fond of two things -well two things that are relevant to this statement-shorthand and sarcasm, and the use of symbols gives them the chance to use both! You’ll often see a retort to a foolish question in a poker forum answered in the following manner:

[ ] Original Poster is an intelligent poker player

[ x ] Original Poster has an IQ between a goat and Porky Pig

Have a strong opinion on the “hotness” of Annie Duke

For whatever reason, the most prominent question/debate on any poker forum is over the hotness of Annie Duke. Currently Duke is on the bad side of an AK vs. 88 coin flip.

Don’t believe me that this is an all-important issue on poker forums Google “Annie Duke is Hot” and let me know what your search uncovers.

Are best known by their screen-name and post-counts

The truly prolific poker forum posters are not only referred to by their screen-names, even in real-life situations with family and friends, but like a baseball record book, their post-counts and other statistics can reach legendary proportions. The best of these posters wield their reputations like Joe Pesci wields a pen in Casino, cutting down all non-believers who stand in their way.